(Beware: severely jaded person inside)

Your destiny still awaits, she says. There’s a reason for everything, she says. So, it’s time to summon her transparent butt back here and find out exactly what that reason is – Piper, Charmed

Destiny. Fate. Everything happening for a reason. I used to think I believed it all existed. Once upon a time it felt like the most natural thing in the world to talk about what comes natural to the world. Until I woke up and smelled the episode of Charmed. There’s only one reason I ever truly believed in fate and that was because I watched Charmed. It’s an idealistic view where the world is designed before you and all you can do is hope your role is a good one.

I’m sorry to anyone who believes, but what a crock.

The world exists and things happen, but are they meant to happen? I don’t think so. Are you meant to stay at home the day your usual route to work ends up a disaster zone? No. You’re just one lucky person.

I do believe the world acts as it wishes; earthquakes are a part of nature, as are all natural disasters. They occur depending on certain elements needed for them to happen. Do I believe they happen for a reason? Yes, actually, I do. I believe natural disasters are a natural form of population control. Of course, any disaster that happens is sad and rather unfortunate for anyone involved, but I do believe they’re part of life. Is it fate? Not really. It’s science.

Idealised views used to be wonderful to think about and still are from time to time. The idea that there’s someone out there for everyone, that everyone will find happiness, that anyone who wants a child will be able to have one and that anyone who dreams hard enough can have everything they want.

The world doesn’t work like that. You can dream as big as you like, you won’t necessarily get what you sorely wish, or even anything remotely similar.

The world is a difficult place and we have to manoeuvre our way around obstacles in order to reach a point of happiness, or achieve a goal. Will doing so lead to eternal happiness? No. It’ll lead to happiness for a while until another difficult time swoops in and knocks you down. It doesn’t happen because it’s supposed to, it happens because no matter what you do in life there will be ups and there will be downs.

I never imagined I’d be agreeing with the concept that life is a rollercoaster but without a pre-set path. It’s a rollercoaster which you’re building as you travel. You set off on course and it’s fine, you know, you’re happy and you’re plodding along. Then something big happens, like a really steep ascent and all of a sudden bam, a drop and you go flying down the other side. Where will you land? I don’t think anyone knows. Sometimes you’re okay and you land on thick grass and soft dirt, other times you land in a tree of prickles which no matter how hard you try to get out unscathed, you have no chance.

If people had a set path in life then why do they end up falling off it? Surely the world hasn’t decided that there will be one million unemployed young people or that their futures will be affected by the economic climate. I doubt the world decides that for some their prospects are so limited that what hope do they even have of surviving life without a good family to look after them? It’s basic nature versus nurture, are they doomed from birth because it’s predestined? I don’t agree. Just look at the story of Blood Brothers, yes it ended badly, but the concept generally makes sense. If you separated twins at birth and sent one to live with a rich family whilst the other survives on the breadline then one is bound to have more advantages in life than the other.

I believe, as of this moment, that fate is something designed to fit with religion. If you believe in God, then you believe you have that safety net of something there controlling your destiny, looking out for you; someone who if you ask hard enough will give you what you want. I don’t buy it in the same way I don’t religion.

Nobody is going to fix my problems. They’re mine and I have to do it myself, I can ask for help (in the form of counselling, or existing friendships) but I can’t have anyone do it for me, or make it happen because “it’s supposed to”. If it was supposed to happen, it would have happened by now, surely. Instead, I know it’s my role in life to be who I am and to take control of my own future. I’m not going to get anywhere hoping that something will happen beyond my control.

Do I believe things happen beyond my control? Of course. People die, companies close, credit crunches grip nations, but I can’t change any of that. What I can do is take any opportunity offered to me and try to make it positive for my future, I can try my hardest to look for work and I can put one foot in front of the other every day, just plodding along.

But there’s no destiny for me, no fate, no set path I’m supposed to go down. I didn’t wake up yesterday and think “oh, I’m supposed to work with young people, this is my destiny, if I don’t do it I’ll have abandoned my calling”. First and foremost, the JobCentre won’t agree with that, after all, jobs are few and far between in my chosen field. I have to take control now and decide what I want to do, I have to set out my own path and make it work for me because nobody else is going to do it.

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3 thoughts on “(Beware: severely jaded person inside)

  1. I don’t think our blogs could’ve been any different if we planned it out to the very last word! But that made me smile. How two poeple can have such opposite views on one subject – and not know each other had those views – a month after starting this really provides some comfort.

    I think you hit the nail on the head (ish). I wouldn’t say I beleive in God but I beleive in *something* that maybe God like and for that reason I beleive that there is something controling/giving a helping hand in life. A book I recently read explained that this ‘being’ couldn’t control everything and that there were other factors too – which generally is why bad things happen (such as nature, illness etc.)

    I really liked reading a blog from a completely different view point. Well done!!

    1. Funny, hey! It’s good to have differences, of course, and it’s quite interesting to see them laid out so obviously as this. Glad you enjoyed reading ‘the other side’.

  2. Huzzah!! We found an opinionated topic which has thrown up totally different view points, amazing!

    And yet even as I’m reading yours I’m thinking of ways to strengthen my argument, lol. My blog makes me sound like I am all alone plodding down the path of life, on which my destiny and chances have already been set. Of course this is not the case, not only will my choices affect the road I’m on, but the choices and actions of others (politicians, family members, employers, friends) as well as world events (natural disasters beyond anyone’s control) will be shaping the road ahead of me, blocking off some forks and leaving others open. To me, this is still fate, it’s not always a good thing, there can be bad fate too (sod’s law!), everything is balanced, the ying and the yang. I don’t believe in “God” either, but it’s nice to think that there’s something, some essence of all those who have gone before which acts as a guide, nudging us in the right direction.

    I read this whole thing with a grin on my face, haha, I do like a good debate!

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