Welcome, take a seat, quickly now. No, I don’t mean take a seat out of the room, sit down. We have a lot to get through and not very much time in which to do it. Are we ready? Great, then I will begin.
It was a dull and foggy morning somewhere north of Manchester and tucked up in bed lay a girl named Fiona. She was a small girl; about five foot one, with blonde hair and grey-blue eyes.
On this particular morning Fiona was sleeping late, as she had been doing a lot more than usual. Unfortunately, she was living as an unemployed person who had too much time and not enough to do. So to fill her days she decided that playing The Sims would be most enjoyable, however, doing this meant that she sacrificed her evenings to paint walls and go to work as fire fighters or architects and her nights by dreaming of the Sim world that she spent so much of her time in.
Having had a couple of rather restless, Sim-filled nights, Fiona decided that she would probably spend some time away from the computer. Even a computer-holic like Fiona knew that spending too much time staring at a computer screen wasn’t a good idea. So Fiona went downstairs to the kitchen where she found some potential new tasks to keep her busy.
First of all she decided to help Mummy Bond clear out a cupboard and the vegetable rack (look how neat the vegetables are now).
Next she decided to get some help off good old Aunt Betty in order to make some Whoopie Pies. Having never made them before it was quite a challenge knowing what to do for the best, but with Betty’s help they looked really yummy.
As with most days, Fiona had to endure the task of keeping her beautiful cats happy. After putting the Whoopie Pies in the oven to bake she walked across to the kitchen and spent some time with Walbert Berticus B the third of Bridgestone (more commonly known as Bertie, or boycat).
Next, Mummy Bond decided that Fiona had talked about The Sims so much that she wanted to have a go for herself. So Fiona spent some time installing the game onto Mummy Bond’s computer.
(This isn’t really Mummy Bond’s attempt, it’s Fiona’s, but here felt like the right time to show an image of The Sims.)
Then she went back to check that the Whoopie Pies were baking as they should.
Mmm, they look good. And oh look, even Quing Lilalalala the third of Bridgestone (more affectionately known as Lila, or girlcat) decided to help.
(Hello Lila, thanks for being a very helpful cat!)
Later on, after lots of baking, Fiona decided to sit down to play The Sims for a little while as well as watch Casualty. Whilst doing so Fiona had a snack. Weekends are a time when Daddy Bond decides that the food of the house is no longer appropriate for our snacking needs and decides to visit the local Nisa. So Fiona scoffed down a lovely, chocolatey Twirl and some crunchy, munchy Monster Munch.
Once Casualty was over, Fiona decided she needed to find something else to watch, so she opened her latest DVD from LoveFilm (Arrested Development, season one, disc three) and was surprised to find a leaflet for a music service which would allow her to buy some songs for free. What an opportunity!
Unfortunately, the opportunity wasn’t quite as great as it seemed as said website had mostly covers and unknown albums, not what Fiona was looking for at all. She cancelled her subscription and went to bed with Bertie boycat who decided that Fiona’s bed was the perfect place to have a bath (as usual).
The next morning Fiona woke up late (again) after having a restless Sims filled night (again) and she went straight for the toast and Vimto. Yum.
When she had finished eating she decided to do some more baking to avoid playing The Sims (again). Downstairs she found Bertie being his usual self, so she picked him up and gave him a cuddle.
Once Bertie had ran off outside (and when I say ran, I mean, he lunged himself at the catflap and off her went), Fiona washed her hands and began to bake some bread. Now, last Christmas Mummy Bond decided it would be fun to buy a bread maker for her daughters. Something which Fiona found quite interesting. However, being a bit of a baker (as you might have guessed by now – though really, getting Aunt Betty’s help was not something Fiona likes to do very often), Fiona doesn’t much like to bake bread in a machine.
“What about kneading?” said Fiona. “And what about putting the break into weird and wonderful shapes?”
So Mummy Bond suggested she go back to the old fashioned way of baking bread and that is exactly what she did.
Mix, mix, mix went the flour (of Oat & Linseed) and water as Fiona swished and swoshed her hands about in the dough until it became a little less sloppy. Then, after some kneading, Fiona placed the first batch of bread onto baking trays in little balls because Mummy Bond wanted some buns to have for her lunches that week.
Fiona then moved on to batch number two, the white loaf, which Fiona was most excited about.
She swished it and then she swoshed it until she could swish no more. The dough looked rather messy.
Then she kneaded it until it looked like the most beautiful piece of dough that Fiona had ever seen.
Whilst mixing the white loaf, the buns were slowly rising. Now that the white loaf was finished, Fiona put it under a damp cloth to rise whilst the buns began to bake.
When the white loaf had finished rising Fiona was very, very surprised to see how large it had become and was most happy with how beautiful it continued to look.
Whilst the white loaf baked in the oven, Fiona decided to move on to baking a ginger cake. Now, Fiona had never made a ginger cake before so she wasn’t quite sure what to expect. After a near miss earlier in the day in which Mummy Bond had to hop, skip and jump to the shop to buy a new packet of flour (there were little flour bugs crawling around in the other one), there was just enough ingredients to make a cake. So Fiona mixed the eggs and milk and flour together and then she mixed the syrup and the sugar and the butter together.
And then when they were mixed, she mixed them both together and poured the mixture into a baking tin.
By now the white loaf was beginning to get a little black on top.
“Oh dear,” said Mummy Bond.
“It’ll be okay,” said Fiona.
Then Fiona decided she wanted to try a piece and because the bread was round it reminded her of a cake. Which is why she decided that actually, round bread shouldn’t be cut like bread, it should be cut like cake. She also put all of the buns onto a plate so that the cooling rack was clear in order to allow the round loaf to cool.
Once a slice of the white loaf of bread was eaten (it tasted very yummy) it was time to take the ginger cake out of the oven. Wow, doesn’t that look lovely?
By now it was getting late and Fiona decided to spend some time on her computer whilst Mummy Bond made some tea. When it was finally ready, Fiona scoffed it all up, it was very yummy.
After some more time on the computer Fiona decided that it was time to eat another Whoopie Pie (as she suspected they tasted different the next morning…and they did) as well as another slice of bread. What a wonderful end to a great weekend.
* Contrary to what this blog may suggest; Fiona does not spend all day, every day baking, eating and playing with cats, though a large portion of some days may involve one, two or all three of these things.