Alphathon: An open letter to the teenage me.

Dear 13 Year Old You,

The world isn’t how you think it is. You can be yourself, you can stand your ground, you can think that being with a man is the only path in life. But the world isn’t as simple as that.

People can be cruel and you need to find a way to work with that. The idiots at school aren’t going to change simply because you wish they would. The pain they put you through, the names they call you, the stupid rumours that get spread around will consume your life if you let it. You don’t want that because it’ll be with you for the rest of your life.

Bullying is bullying and you need to know exactly what is considered bullying. What they’re doing to you, those bullies, it’s real. It’s not ‘just being mean’ and they’re not ‘just not very nice people’. They’re bullies and you need to find a way through it. I know you think that lots of people saying the same thing can’t be the same as one person making someone’s life hell, but it can be. It is. You don’t see it yet, one day you will. Nobody can save you except yourself because bullying isn’t quite recognised as much as it one day will be.

Despite what you choose to do about your situation, the best thing you can do for your life is to go to Bully Free Zone and volunteer. You may come across a hurdle, school may say no to you joining their peer support scheme. But you will find your way in and it will be the best thing you have ever done.

Don’t let the people you care about now, the friends you have, drift away. You’ll regret that eventually. They may not be perfect and you don’t have to count on them as your only friends but it’s better to have some real life acquaintances who you can spend time with.

The internet is your friend, but it’s also your biggest enemy. You may want to join the internet world and let it rule you and that’s okay, to an extent. But like I said, don’t let your real life friends drift away or you’ll end up alone. The internet will provide many comforts, but ultimately, you’ll still be alone.

Being yourself can only go so far because there are things you may avoid simply because they don’t fit into your idea of your world, or you’re scared of doing them. They don’t make you happy though. They alienate you from the things you wish you could be doing.

Stubbornness is all very well as long as you don’t use it to push people away. Your opinions are important. They’re just not the first thing you should explore with people you don’t even know yet.

And as for your idea that you’re going to end up married with 6 children, it’s not going to happen. It’s not what you want, deep down. Children, yes. Marriage, no. Men? You don’t realise it yet but sexuality is something that needs to be explored and believing you are one thing simply because you’ve not explored the alternative is a little damaging. The other side may not be something you’ve considered before except that when the time comes it will be the only thing that actually, truly matters.

Live, let live and explore your world and don’t forget feel the fear and do it anyway.

Love and luck,

The Future You

I chose Katy’s theme today, as you can see, it was to write a letter to the 13 year old me. I hope you’ll read Katy‘s blog and Katy P‘s blog too, they have also chosen that theme so it’s an interesting day for the Alphathon.

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4 thoughts on “Alphathon: An open letter to the teenage me.

  1. Feel the fear and do it anyway, such an amazing quote.

    I’m always torn with these things, if given the chance would you send this letter? I don’t know that I would. There are some things I wish I’d known, like about Grandad, some things I wish I’d done, like learned Spanish, but in not doing them I made a choice and took a path which got me to where I am today, and I like who I am. Different choices might result in a different me, maybe she’d be better, but maybe not. Seems too risky!

    1. It really is! Along with ‘you’re not a failure if you don’t make it, you’re a success because you tried’ I first discovered them when I was around 13! Ended up doing a presentation all about feeling the fear, etc. when I was 16 and I specifically remember telling others in my PE class to feel the fear about doing the high jump…add feel the fear and do it anyway to be a banana (from the teacher) and you’ve got quite a weird PE lesson. 😛

      I really don’t know if I would. I like to believe that this letter would give my 13 year old self some insight into what she needs to do to become a slightly happier/or happier quicker version of me. Different choices really could have resulted in different things though, as you say…funnily enough I met up with my old best friend tonight and we were discussing school and she said she’d go back in a flash if she could. That she’d do things differently, so of course it made me think of this.

  2. Awww Peg, this made me all teary! I think your 13 year old self would’ve been very grateful for this advice! xx

    1. Aw! Aren’t you a sweetie getting all teary, hehe. I think so too, I do believe that some things in my life could have been different had certain events worked out differently. Some things I wouldn’t change, but others I most definitely would like to. Most of school, for one.

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