Alphathon: Diary of a mobile phone…yes…really…

When you’re a phone like me you love the sound of the key in the door. In the house she doesn’t use you, in fact, she ignores you. Her iPod is the most important thing if she’s not at the computer that is. In fact, some days she leaves you on the bed and even when you’re ringing she has no idea.

So when you hear that key in the lock you want to jump up and dance because you’re finally getting some action.

About bloody time.

Even then it’s overkill. How many tweets does one person need to send? For God’s sake, give it a rest.

Some phones get texted to shreds, not me, I just get tweeted. She doesn’t even ring people and texts are really few and far between.

The most interesting thing to happen to me lately is a trip to Bristol where not only did she ignore me for her iPod AND netbook but she used me for something other than tweets. I never thought I’d see the day.

Oh, and then there’s my wifi hotspot.

Talk about overkill. Can that girl not give it a bloody rest? If there’s no internet there’s a reason. You can’t have it everywhere so stop trying to. Turn on my wifi hotspot one more time this month and I’ll throw a wobbly, I will, I swear, you’ll not get to tweet for a week.

Not only did she turn it on in the hotel room (there’s wifi downstairs, isn’t that enough? No? Idiot.) but she turned it on on the train. There wasn’t even any signal on the train, kept going in and out and she used it to power her netbook. An iPod I can just about handle, but a netbook?

Are you trying to kill me?

At least we were sat by a plug socket, I was hungry and she’d already worked my battery down to mere minutes of usage.

If this happens again, I’m going on strike.

Use it or lose it darling because if you don’t start using me for phone things, I might just have to teach you what phones are all about.

And what is this stupid name she’s given me? Scott the purple people eater? I’m Antique Fuschia, bitch. And since when do phones eat people? What kind of stupidity is this?

Scott is alright, I suppose. But do I look like some blonde, Australian guy marrying Kylie Minogue?

I’m from Taiwan for Christ’s sake.

Now, please, somebody, tell this girl how to use her phone, quickly.

Ahem, sorry about that, my phone appears to have taken over my blog. He can go back on my desk and shut up whilst I use my computer. So, that was today’s (yesterday’s) alphathon. Don’t forget to check out the Katys!

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4 thoughts on “Alphathon: Diary of a mobile phone…yes…really…

  1. Hey there, I’m liking this – I think my poor phone would concur with the thoughts of yours – making a phonecall once in a while rather than checking facebook and sending e-mails and messaging people… but he bears it well, poor thing!
    Ought to introduce myself really: I’m the retrospective rambly law and horses gal that Miss K-Sens invited to guest-star with the Alphathoning. Better known as Lauren, but more often known as… other, less polite, things 🙂 How do you do?

    1. Hi, sorry about not responding to this sooner, had a crazy few weeks. Haha, yeah, poor phones seem to get a lot of work in. I thought you might be Katy’s friend, it’s good to have you on board. How’s it going? 😀

  2. Hahaha! This had my giggling the WHOLE way through. I think our phones would get on… mine is bitter and twisted too!!

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