Dear The King of London (formerly known as his right honourable David Cameron, but let’s face it, you’re not honourable in the slightest)
Did you know that your country (That’s the UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND not the South East of England) is struggling? No? I didn’t think so.
You’re so caught up in Olympic Fever and looking after your rich friends that you can’t even see what is going on just above your head. Your country needs you, no I’m not talking about a war (though I’d be happy for anyone from north of Watford Gap to fight to take back control), I’m talking about this North/South divide. Yes, it’s real. It’s real and you don’t care about it. In fact, it’s not even North/South anymore, it’s the South East surrounded by a few little places along the South coast. As soon as you hit Devon, it’s like being in another country.
Did you know that the empty shop rate is higher in the North than it is elsewhere? Well, guess what, it is. And did you know that you’ve chosen high streets in the SOUTH EAST to receive money to help their high streets? Erm, what help do they need?
You’ve given some money to somewhere in Devon to help them with car parking and you’ve given some money to Liverpool to help with mentoring young people in business. But what good will that do for the rest of this country? Yes, it’s a country, it’s four countries in one…not four countries and a capital city that is the only country you know exists.
So, Dave, can I call you Dave? Probably not, but I will anyway. I’m sick of this North/South divide, this ‘London is the centre of the universe’, it’s not. For more people in this country it is a bane on our existence and only ceases to make life harder for those elsewhere.
How about you drill a hole around the edges of the South East and sail off into the sea? Or better still, hand the North and West over to Scotland and Wales (let’s face it, we’re another year with the Tories away from hating the so called ‘English’ as much as they do). I’d rather seek Independence with the rest of this so called UNITED KINGDOM and rename ourselves into an Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and Welshman joke.
Yours Never Sincerely,
An Angry Northerner Who Is Considering Becoming Scottish