I haven’t talked about really personal things on this blog in a long time. I decided to glance back through old posts because at some point this month I want to do a follow up to a post I made a year or so ago. In doing so I came across a list of bad things that happened in my day, I also came across a list of good things that happened in my other day. I’ve not done one of either in a long time, nor have I felt the need to.
Depression is a difficult thing, whether you’re only mildly depressed or really far into the difficult emotional place. I reached a point, in 2011, where things were just too much. I couldn’t be nice, I couldn’t feel okay and I couldn’t even blog about nice things on some of those harder days.
But I got through it.
I came off medication last December, which means it’s been several months since I relied on any medical assistance with my hormones.
It’s not been an easy ride, I’ll admit. From time to time, especially earlier in the year, I wondered how I could possibly survive without going back on the anti-depressants. I had some very difficult days where my emotions became overwhelming to the point of tears, or anger, or frustration. I tried my very best to get through it and I did. Usually my hormones were to blame and ‘that time of the month’ was always the hardest. The natural dip in my mood was amplified some. They’ve been amplified for a few years now, even whilst I was on my medication. But before I didn’t have to cope with the imbalance myself and spending a year relying on that assistance makes living without it harder.
But I got through it.
And this is where I am today. The natural imbalance of hormones should have made the last week difficult for me. It hasn’t. The last two months have been pretty balanced. I may have been down a little at times and I may have been cranky but it didn’t matter because for once my hormones aren’t dictating my moods.
So today, what has been good about today?
I went to Starbucks where I used my free voucher and I got a lovely, large Strawberries and Cream frappuccino. Naturally, they’re full of calories and I’ve been trying to cut back over the last few months. But I’d earned that drink by buying fifteen before it and I wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to have a free, and large, version of my favourite Starbucks beverage.
I discovered the cutest Bolton elephant. I know that I’ve blogged about the Bolton elephants already. Today I discovered a new one. I’d seen it before, I just hadn’t really SEEN IT until now. It’s beautiful. Golden coated and with one foot a little off the ground; definitely my favourite Bolton elephant. Sorry market bollards, you’ve been trumped.
A campaign to save book shops exists. If bookshops disappeared from the world I would cry, really. I adore standing in a bookshop for hours browsing books (as I’m sure I’ve said in previous blog posts) and the worry over the future of the physical book, as well as the places that hold them, is real. With every Kindle sold and every independent bookshop which closes down, we’re faced with the real probability that bookshops may cease to exist in the future. I hope not, I really do. Which is why I fully support the Books Are My Bag campaign. I discovered that such a thing existed when buying books in WHSmiths. Buy one, get one for £1, what a great deal.
As you will also know, I love using a quill and ink to write with. It’s fun and it’s a bit different. Today I found myself looking at fountain pens. I suppose they’re the modern day quill and ink, the more functional and portable version which works in a similar way but the ink doesn’t blotch quite as badly. Fountain pens aren’t really something I’ve bought in a long time, since I was in school and I didn’t buy one today. But I was reminded of a desire I had a while ago, which was to own a Parker pen. They’re a more expensive version of the fountain pen. Maybe it’s not the most expensive, but it’s too expensive for me to have had in school when I ended up with the cheap plastic pens which have dodgy nibs. Parkers look like their nibs are perfect and I’d really like a decent Parker pen for Christmas and some black ink cartridges. I don’t like blue ink, I don’t really understand where blue ink came from.
Finally, last but definitely not least, I got a message from a friend which really put one of those big, massive smiles on my face and made me appreciate her more than I already do.
So there we have it, my random happy points from the day and things which will keep me happy for a while I imagine. The idea of owning a Parker pen should keep me going until Christmas and then the owning of such pen will keep me going beyond then. The books I will read and enjoy and that’s always a pleasure. The book campaign provided me with a lovely bookmark.
What good things have happened to you today? No matter how big, or small.